About a Broken Heart
by beautifulEnmity
Summary: A broken heart is one of the most painful things in the world. But breaking the heart of the one you love may be even more cruel. Yamamoto knows that he broke Gokudera's heart and knowing that, in return, breaks his heart too. Pairings: 8059/5980, mentioned XS


**Okay, I'll start with this author's notes.**

**l really like this pairing *smiles***

**Disclaimer: I don't own Katekyo Hitman Reborn nor the characters. I just own the plot.**

Looking at the trembling silverette in front of him he knew that he had found out.  
He knew he messed up big time and now he had to bear the consequences. "Hayato..." he started, trying to explain everything, although there was no way to explain it. It was his fault and there were no excuses. "Stop! Don't..." The silver haired boy choked out, his voice cracking and hollow. "Don't say my name like that..."  
Upon hearing this words Yamamoto felt his heart ache even more than before. It was as if something strangled him and it was getting difficult to breath.  
It had taken an eternity for Gokudera to except being called by his first name by Yamamoto. The raven haired boy had tried it first after they've started going out and directly earned a punch to his gut and a hissed "Don't EVER call me that, baseball-idiot!"  
After that he had tried it again and again, always receiving a punch or was being pushed away. But after some time the other one had become accustomed to being called 'Hayato' by his boyfriend. It had been something only Yamamoto had been allowed to call him. A demonstration of trust and acceptance.  
And now he had ruined it. He had destroyed everything precious to him in a couple of days. It was all his fault.  
He already knew all that. He had known it when he took the first step in that direction, when he first cheated on his lover.  
Cheating.  
That's what he did. He cheated on Gokudera for the most stupid reasons. He had been naive. 'If he just doesn't find out.' and 'It won't be for long.' That was what he had thought. He wasn't really sure what he had expected, but now he saw his world crumbling, falling apart.  
And he was the reason.  
He had betrayed his lover, his most precious person in the world.  
He cheated on him because of a fight! A fight over something so unimportant that he had already forgotten what it was about.  
He could only remember getting angry and leaving in the middle of the argument.  
And that was when it had started. He had left Gokudera's apartment and went to the dojo to vent his anger in training. When he arrived there he was surprised to find someone training inside. And he was even more surprised to see that it was the Vice Captain of the Varia, Squalo. After the formal greeting they started fighting, but only to train. After some hours of sparring they were both exhausted and panting. It was then that the frustration from the fight with Gokudera took over and Yamamoto closed in on Squalo, pressing their lips together. After a few seconds of shock the other swordsman had started to kiss back.  
That kiss was different from the one he shared with Gokudera. The kiss wasn't gentle and full of love, instead it was filled with frustration and built up anger. He had known that the Varia Rain Guardian had a relationship with his Boss, but it seemed that it wasn't going that well either.  
And since that day, he visited the dojo every day for the past week. They didn't meet out of love. They just needed someone who understood what they felt and they simply drowned their frustrations in these acts of fake affection.  
He had been frustrated and didn't think it through. At first it didn't feel like cheating. But after a while he felt the guilt pressing down heavy on his heart.  
He wasn't frustrated anymore and he had basically made up with his boyfriend so he wanted to stop it and bury it somewhere deep with him where nobody would ever see.  
He had wanted to forget everything and nobody should ever get to know about it.  
But somehow Gokudera had found out. He had called him early this morning and simply said they had to talk.  
And here he was and everything he did got back at him. He clutched the shirt over his heart because it had started to hurt so much. But if he felt that way, just how bad had he hurt his lover? He stared at the silverette who was still standing in front of him. His trembling legs and the clutched hands. He had lowered his head so his hair covered his face making it impossible to see his expression. He couldn't imagined how he had made Gokudera feel.  
He wanted to say something - anything to make the other feel better, but there probably wasn't anything he could say. But seeing his lover like this and him being the cause he almost died from regret.  
Regret.  
That was it. He regretted it. Everything he did. He regretted it so much.  
"Hayato, I love you..." This words just slipped out of his mouth. He needed to say it. He needed to say it out loud and make the other understand that he really meant it! He wasn't prepared for the punch that followed his words and made him stumble against the wall behind him. After he got a grasp of the situation he just closed his eyes and accepted it. He took the next few hits too, welcoming the pain that flooded through his nerves each time the fist connected with his body.  
He knew he deserved it. It was his fault and if beating him up made Gokudera feel better he would let him. The physical pain was nothing compared to how his boyfriend must feel now. How Yamamoto made him feel.  
He snapped back to reality when he heard stifled whimpers coming from the other male in front of him.  
Opening his eyes he saw Gokudera kneeling on the floor, sank together as if all strength had left him after beating Yamamoto. He stared at him, his shaking body and listened to the stifled sounds coming from him. Only after a minute he realized that Gokudera was crying.  
He wasn't given any time to get over the shock of seeing the strong Storm Guardian cry though. The whimpering suddenly stopped and Gokudera stood up, trying to hold his balance while his body was still trembling. "You love me?" Yamamoto was shocked upon hearing the others voice. It sounded nothing like the Gokudera he knew, more like a echo, distant and without any emotions. "You love me? How could you possibly say that after you CHEATED on me?! How can you say that you love me, when you met another guy because I wasn't good enough for you?! How could you say that after I was told that everytime after you met with me you went to see someone else?! After all that, how could you say that you love me?!"  
Yamamoto knew there was only one answer ton this question. "Because it's true." That was how he honestly felt. "I love only you and I'll love you for the rest of my life. And I love no one else besides you." "Then why? If you love only me, then why did you cheat on me?" That was the first time Gokudera looked at Yamamoto directly. Staring into the green orbs he could see the pain and sadness of his soul reflecting in them. He broke Gokudera's heart.  
That was what he was able to see in those eyes: The shattered pieces of a broken heart.  
He could see everything in them and the terrible realization of what he really did to his lover crushed his heart into a million pieces. He could feel it. That stinging pain in his chest, slowly starting to spread, till his whole being hurt.  
His body and his soul hurt like he was pierced with hundredths of swords at the same time. A sob escaped his throat and then another one till he was sobbing uncontrollably, tears starting to roll down his cheeks. He knew he wasn't allowed to cry like that in front of the person who's heart has been broken by him, but he couldn't help it. All the built up emotions inside of him broke free and visualized themselves as tears streaming down Yamamoto's face. His knees buckled and he sunk on the floor shaking from the continuing sobs.  
"I-I love you..." Still crying he looked up at Gokudera. "Hayato, I love you..." Whispering with a strangled voice he blinked away his tears, but more kept coming.  
"I love you." He kept repeating this three words over and over again, knowing the fact that that wouldn't change anything, that he broke his lovers heart and in return got his heart broken. "But it's true... It was my fault... How could you possibly forgive me?!"  
He hid his head in his hands and bent over.  
It was only fair.  
That would be his punishment.  
"Hayato, I-" he was cut off by a pair of arms embracing him.  
Surprised he dropped his hands and snapped his head up.  
He was met with a pair of green eyes staring at him, tears glistening inside them.  
"Takeshi, I-I can't forgive you right now... B-but I love you... And I really don't want to lose this... O-or you..." He pressed their bodies together, Yamamoto's face buried in the crook of Gokudera's neck.  
"Hayato... Thank you - so much... I won't mess things up again. I-I promise you... I won't screw things up again..." His voice got gradually lower till it was only barely audible. His arms encircled Gokudera's chest, pulling him closer.  
He wanted to hold onto him like this forever.  
Tears started to fall down, damping their clothes.  
The two of them were holding onto each other as if they were each others anchors.  
They knelt on the floor in silence, the only sound being the occasional sobs heard from both males.


End file.
